1: to define again: reformulate
2: a. to reexamine or reevaluate with a view to change
b. transform
And that's what I did. I decided "to define again" who I am.
For 6 years, I have loved being defined as "Mommy", and to my dying day I will always be "Mommy". But somewhere along the way, "Caroline" got buried way down deep. Deep under the diapers and nighttime feedings, deep under potty training and sippy cups, deep under preschools and room moms, and deep under first days of kindergarten and field trips. It's not uncommon, and I think it happened to Daddys too. But one day, you just realize, the thing that you use to be, is no more.
So it is time to redefine who I am and how I want my children to know me and describe me.
Our year started off sad, and cold, and depressing, and quite honestly miserable. Getting up and getting going was a struggle. One Saturday afternoon in January my husband and I went to a favorite winery with friends and of course we ate, drank and were very merry. We always take pictures in the vineyard and I was feeling good and had fun taking pictures until I saw this:
Um, barf.
Right then and there I decided that was my "before" picture. I was not obese or dying of French fry induced cholesterol issues, but I was overweight and unhappy. I looked unhappy. I felt unhappy. Even thought I was smiling, I was unhappy. Ugh. I was just done with the fat suit and ready to be active and alive.
There was another picture, and I told myself that one was better, but it wasn't. Camera angles and Instagram can only do so much.
I had to figure something out. I started doing live workout classes in our neighborhood and got hooked. They were not easy and I thought I was going to die. But, shockingly enough, I did not. I survived. I even liked it. I felt empowered by finishing the workouts.
I was introduced to a Beachbody program called the 21 Day Fix. It was brand new to the company and was to be a portion controlled, clean eating system along with at home workout videos. You can watch the video here that explains a little bit about it. But those 21 days proved to me that I could finish something. The Facebook accountability group won me over. I needed to be accountable without someone yelling at me to do squats and burpees. The people in the group were real and honest and so encouraging. I'm so glad to call them my friends. I went on to do another round of 21 days, then moved right into the T25 program and am now one week away from finishing 10 weeks of T25. 10. Like 1-0. Like t.e.n. I know. 10. The mental, emotional and physical strength I've gained, along with the 17 pounds and 20+ inches I've lost, have been life changing. They have be redefining. This is me. This is who I am now. This is me defined again, reformulated, reexamined and reevaluated. And it's awesome.
And because I love a good Before & After picture (and I don't want that horrible picture of me above stuck in your head, what? don't judge) here is one from Mother's Day. Much better.
If you'd like to follow me along, I have new goals for the rest of the year. In full disclosure, I am a Beachbody Coach (more info here). Why, because I am a product of their products. Tony Horton, nor Shaun T., nor Autumn Calabrese came and cooked meals for me or did my workouts for me or paid for liposuction for me. I did it. But I did it with amazing products and amazing accountability groups. I needed that help and I got it and I will always be in a group to hold me accountable.
My goals for the rest of the year include:
Ultimate Refresh, 3 Day Detox
PiYo
P90X3
I will be recording my efforts: both struggles and triumphs. For me, it had to happen. If you find yourself in the same spot, shoot me a message. Let's talk abut what your needs are, what your goals are. Maybe we can find a group that will help you too.
Thanks!
Caroline
